09 October 2009
Today, I woke up and I decided to work on the computer today. While I have released myself of my duties for just today of taking dance class and rehearsing the dancers of DTL Entertainment, I am finishing some work on the computer and I found myself reflecting on self.
When it comes down to it, I must have self love to keep going. Some one once told me: "if you do not love self, how do you expect to love God. SO TRUE!
Now I look at myself and I say: "I LOVE YOU"
When I stop depending on other people to love me, I had come into loving myself. I have come into a person of my own right so now I could really LIVE. A new chapter in my life.
MOVING ON.......... In my life, its not all perfect but I am at peace. A sign that I realize of me really growing. I just finished a conversation on the phone with a X-fling and he was with his new girl. The same girl he meant during our fling. Well that is the title that I choose because we never had a fitting title.
Its funny me and him are friends now. REALLY FRIENDS.
We both realize that we have twisted minds so we get along on the level. He really has become a good friend to me. Our friendship is all title mixed up friends, sibling vibe, and worse enemies. But its friends AND HE REALLY CAN NOT HANDLE HOW I AM RIGHT NOW....I AM WALKING THIS WORLD IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT.....I REALIZED: HIS NOT MY HUSBAND, GOD STILL PREPAIRING THAT LUCKY GUY FOR ME.
So, what else?
My dancing, I laugh at God now because I really got out of shape. when I had stop dancing for 4 months, he now has giving me an opportunity to dance for DIKA / MOKAYDF @ 19:45. OCTOBER 30, 2009. TICKET PRICE $50. I KNOW CHEAP PLUG.
I am ready now. guess what? I'm playing in a love triangle and the raped girl. of course, i will get the emotional role. I CANT WAIT...:) So, what else?I am SKINNIER NOW. thats God. I did not even do anything.
So, what else?
I LIVE IN SOWETO.Soweto is so big, I live in Klipspruit. Its a relax place and its in the hood. I just mind my business and the people are like family to me.
So, what else?Just dedicating my day to finding sponsors for DTL Entertainment and also looking for fresh new dancers.
AUDITION WEEK: STARTING OCTOBER 12 @ SABC 1:00-4:30PM. TELEVISION SIDE ENTRANCE 7. I KNOW CHEAP PLUG. got to be on the grind people
A passage from my "Ma" in Soweto:
She said: "Let me tell you about the Wash Tower"
Today as I was reflecting on self, "Ma" was working outside. As she was working, The Wash Tower people had come and she chased them away.
Wash Tower - An English Church
They once came to her house before she invited them in. They said: "We want to teach you about the Bible" So, they talked about the Bible to "Ma." She said: "she knows the Bible but she wants to know more." After some time, they just stopped coming with no reason why they left.
They passed her house with no greeting and they did not come at all. Until now, they had come to her house again.
Now, she has chased them away. She does not hate them but she dislikes their ways. "Ma" did study their perception of the Bible and she did not agree with some of their ways.
She said: "We all pray to one God" This does not give the right for anyone to try to get some one of abandoning their personal traditions. the Wash Tower have adopted english people religion and they deny their traditions. For example, the black people tradition in South Africa is when your father dies: you must go to their grave.
Wash Tower believes you can not community with the dead because they are dead. They add: "your traditions are not right and you must come to the rightful beliefs of our church."
"WE ALL PRAY TO ONE GOD"
GOD BLESS AND READ MORE
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
SHE SAID: YOU MUST BE CAREFUL
3 OCTOBER 2009
At this moment, I am sitting in a taxi. Riding in a taxi, the other South Africans think that your not successful. I do not mind. In fact, I do not mind riding taxis because they take me places in a fast matter. If I had a car, I will not have any clue of how to get anywhere.
ANYWAYS I am meant for something bigger than myself. This next entry will be hard for me to write because I do not know where to start. When in doubt, you must start from the beginning. My father told me once.
So here it is:
As August ended, I moved out of my apartment. For a year, I stayed in that apartment and I grew up into a woman there. Instead of leaving on a good note, I left in a panic. You see, my landowner was charging me R7500 ($1000.00) monthly rent. She over charged me because I did not know any better. Well, I found out about the overcharge but it was nothing to be done. So I stayed and I moved out year end.
"Money is the root of all evil."
As I am moving out, she had given a comment that I kept the place nice. Just like she said when she measured her table during my stay there. All I needed to do was get professional cleaning for the carpet and couches. I never received a writing notice of noise level or anything.
In her brand new car, she had come to my work and picked up the keys for the apartment. I had ended a chapter in my life.
NOT
I just walked into another chapter with that apartment. A week later, she sent an email claiming demage changes of about R10,000. Telling my parents in USA, I also had noise compliments like my parents had enough to deal with. I am glad that my parents know me well enough.
She said:"you must be careful"
So I just transferred taxis to town, Joburg. I was coming from Soweto. In Soweto, I meant this woman that I live with because my friend took me in her home. This woman is her mother. In my mother's absence, this woman has openned her heart to me and has taking me as her own daughter.
She told me her story: from her experiences, she has learned not to trust a man. You must wait until your sure. On the street that she lives, she has witnessed many deaths of young mothers and fathers. The cause has been AIDS.
PAUSE
To my INTERNATINAL friends AIDS is not only in Africa. This is a problem everywhere. So i am not writing another poor Africans AIDS story. I am writing reality. The reality has been people really think that AIDS could not happen to them. It could happen to anybody even girls like me especially girls like me. What is a girl like me? A girl that has seem to have everything her whole life but her purpose is to fight for her identity.
TRUTH: the men who hold AIDS are those ones who wear the nice suits and ride the fancy cars.
They say: I love you and they hold the sickness. I guess they believe of holding the world because of their money. They think of being invisable. Se said: You must be careful. I choose now to wait for marriage. For I am meant for something bigger.
SHE SAID: "GOD HAS GIVEN EVERYONE SENSE."If you do not use God's sense, your education is nothing. God has given you the hands to work. the people on my street, I am so proud of them of using God's sense and their two hands. When some believed, we were going to live in shacks for the rest of our lives. We built houses. In the past, Joburg was called the city of Gold under white people's leadership. The city was worth alot but they did not give the black people anything.
Nevertheless black people, remained clean in their skin becuase they did not loose HOPE. If you went into a black person's shack, you will be surprise of the cleaness. "BLACK PEOPLE ARE PROUD" (just quoting people, no offence)
She said: YOU MUST BE CAREFUL.
At the moment, I have no money to my name but I am rich. I am rich of confidence of believing in myself. I know one day with my educaiton, two hands, and God's sense. I will become what God planned for me.
SHE SAID: "You must be careful"
and I listened......
At this moment, I am sitting in a taxi. Riding in a taxi, the other South Africans think that your not successful. I do not mind. In fact, I do not mind riding taxis because they take me places in a fast matter. If I had a car, I will not have any clue of how to get anywhere.
ANYWAYS I am meant for something bigger than myself. This next entry will be hard for me to write because I do not know where to start. When in doubt, you must start from the beginning. My father told me once.
So here it is:
As August ended, I moved out of my apartment. For a year, I stayed in that apartment and I grew up into a woman there. Instead of leaving on a good note, I left in a panic. You see, my landowner was charging me R7500 ($1000.00) monthly rent. She over charged me because I did not know any better. Well, I found out about the overcharge but it was nothing to be done. So I stayed and I moved out year end.
"Money is the root of all evil."
As I am moving out, she had given a comment that I kept the place nice. Just like she said when she measured her table during my stay there. All I needed to do was get professional cleaning for the carpet and couches. I never received a writing notice of noise level or anything.
In her brand new car, she had come to my work and picked up the keys for the apartment. I had ended a chapter in my life.
NOT
I just walked into another chapter with that apartment. A week later, she sent an email claiming demage changes of about R10,000. Telling my parents in USA, I also had noise compliments like my parents had enough to deal with. I am glad that my parents know me well enough.
She said:"you must be careful"
So I just transferred taxis to town, Joburg. I was coming from Soweto. In Soweto, I meant this woman that I live with because my friend took me in her home. This woman is her mother. In my mother's absence, this woman has openned her heart to me and has taking me as her own daughter.
She told me her story: from her experiences, she has learned not to trust a man. You must wait until your sure. On the street that she lives, she has witnessed many deaths of young mothers and fathers. The cause has been AIDS.
PAUSE
To my INTERNATINAL friends AIDS is not only in Africa. This is a problem everywhere. So i am not writing another poor Africans AIDS story. I am writing reality. The reality has been people really think that AIDS could not happen to them. It could happen to anybody even girls like me especially girls like me. What is a girl like me? A girl that has seem to have everything her whole life but her purpose is to fight for her identity.
TRUTH: the men who hold AIDS are those ones who wear the nice suits and ride the fancy cars.
They say: I love you and they hold the sickness. I guess they believe of holding the world because of their money. They think of being invisable. Se said: You must be careful. I choose now to wait for marriage. For I am meant for something bigger.
SHE SAID: "GOD HAS GIVEN EVERYONE SENSE."If you do not use God's sense, your education is nothing. God has given you the hands to work. the people on my street, I am so proud of them of using God's sense and their two hands. When some believed, we were going to live in shacks for the rest of our lives. We built houses. In the past, Joburg was called the city of Gold under white people's leadership. The city was worth alot but they did not give the black people anything.
Nevertheless black people, remained clean in their skin becuase they did not loose HOPE. If you went into a black person's shack, you will be surprise of the cleaness. "BLACK PEOPLE ARE PROUD" (just quoting people, no offence)
She said: YOU MUST BE CAREFUL.
At the moment, I have no money to my name but I am rich. I am rich of confidence of believing in myself. I know one day with my educaiton, two hands, and God's sense. I will become what God planned for me.
SHE SAID: "You must be careful"
and I listened......
IM BACK WRITING
Tuesday September 29, 2009 I have been in South Africa for a year and a month. I have falling in love, DANCED, depressed, DANCED, dance, DANCED, found God, DANCED, got SAVED, DANCED, taught dance, DANCED, gained weight, DANCED, had sleepless nights, DANCED, got played, DANCED, build a idea for my company, DANCED, workout, DANCED, partied too much, DANCED, felt guilt, DANCED, physical connection, DANCED, lied, DANCED, truth, DANCED,worked at a bar, DANCED, CRIED A LOT, DANCED, felt the LOSS OF FAMILY (being far away from them and wondering if they know I love them ), DANCED, FOUND TRUE LOVE WITH IN MYSELF, DANCED. In the mix of all that, I stop dancing for 4 months in between and it killed me (ya! I gained a lot weight and the biggest I have ever been). I know the only thing that kept me alive. I stopped for a minute but I found out my purpose surrounds DANCE. So there is the TRUTH, my journey in South Africa. Even when I went through the hardships, I had always had dance and the kids in Alexander townships, the professional dancers at DTL Entertainment, and my dance mentor Gustin Makgeledisa of Taelo Dance Theatre, help me find that I will always be a dancer. On September 13, 2009, I got saved and I never looked back. The month before that I read my Bible and I cleansed myself. When that day came I went to the alter and I left my sins behind. Yes! I do not party anymore and everything that went with it. I had become a woman of GOD. So the journey that I started on August 2008. I realized that now. My GOD was preparing me for something bigger than myself. FACT: MY FATHER IS ZIMBABWE SO I AM ZIMBABWEAN. So, What is my destiny? I don’t know destiny is a mystery. What I do know is that I was not placed here for no reason. As I am about to leave SA, I got offered a job position with DTL Entertainment in SA. As a dance instructor, rehearsal director, brand manager, brand manager, and assistant. You see, when you have faith. He deliverers. So now, I have to follow that path. At the moment, I am getting my spirit back. The enemy has tried to break it. So here I am. I hope yall understand: my whole life has prepared me for upcoming. “Dance and be a positive role model” “It disappointed me that me and him ended that way, I REALIZE IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.” “I AM MEANT FOR SOMETHING BIGGER THAN MYSELF”
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
DEAR MY BEST FRIEND
For years, we watched Sarafina and we both agreed to it being our favorite movie. However after all these years of watching that movie, I finally really got it. It was on the other night on DSTV (South African satellete television) and I really cried the whole movie. Even if I did tear up before, I really cried this time. Simply, I knew where Parktown was now. I felt how she felt visiting her mother in the suburbs working as a maid while they lived in the townships. I knew the looks that the people were given by the other race like they are nothing. Most of all, I felt the result to prayer because they are just tried of everything and they just hoping for their day to come. I FELT THAT BECAUSE I AM HERE IN SOUTH AFRICA NEARLY 14 YEARS LATER. Even if it has been settled through government, its still new of togetherness and people are really trying. There are people coming together but they are some people who just could never forget on both sides. Oh! best friend...you know my heart better than anyone and you know i operate on it always. To tell the truth, I believe my work in dance could contribute on bring togetherness by just simply raising the question. I went through racism in the states and now I am here. I know that I could not ever escape it. But it has been such a vital part in my life, I could at least try to give the chance of people having awareness to it. With an awareness, it gives room for change. To my best friend, I know that I could not change the entire world but I will try to change 3/4 of it. Thank you for still pushing me to my ultimate being!
Monday, July 6, 2009
DEAR DADDY:
As the month of June passed, I remember you because June was your month. In the same month of June, it’s your birthday and father’s day. I did call you on father’s day and I was so excited to hear your voice that I did not say Happy Birthday. But I did remember your birthday but unfortunately I had no airtime on my phone. So I decided to tell you how much I love you all in one phone call. By the way, AIRTIME has happened to mean MINUTES in South Africa.
Oh daddy! Could you believe that it has been a year since I left the states? Being in South Africa, I have learned so much. Even that I am going through ups and downs here, I am so happy to be here. The one thing that drove me to stick it out was your words a year ago.
We were in Greenwood, South Carolina at the lake. You said to both my brother and I: “One day that we should surpass you in achievements in life because that was how the world will grow.” I believed that I have done just that. With your spirit of dreaming in me, I went to see for myself what was out there.
I could not express in words what I have seen and felt here. As my year in South Africa goes by, I do wonder if it has happened to be my time to go or if I am just beginning the journey. What ever I decide, I know you will be behind me.
I know this because you’re the best dad in the world because you dealt with me all these years. It was your life experiences that raised me into the best woman that I could be. Now I completely have an understanding of the way you raised me. I believe that I could accomplish anything.
You have let me go out into world, I hope you know that I am searching for something that I could not even tell you what myself. But thank you for just being there for me.
I hope you know that I am not away from family but I have placed myself in the biggest challenge of my life to find my inner self on my own. With this said, I do miss you dearly. All your jokes, quotes, laugh, and even you cutting the grass with that big tractor…..
Daddy! I felt it in my heart that after a year things are coming together here in South Africa. And even if I am stepping into womanhood, I am still your little girl and no one could take that away.
Monday, May 11, 2009
DEAR MOM
I am 23 years old now that means 23 years ago. You had me. Everyone has expressed that you spit me out. I believed their reference was saying: “I look like you.” WELL! I do not know if they meant of me being your exact twin. But I do know that I have your eyes. I have your eyes that have the ability to look at the world with no limits. Truthfully I had always believed that I do not deserve them. Having your eyes meant to me that I am your reflection and that has always scared me. One of my greatest fears was I will never live up to your expectations. Then I realized that you never judged me. You just have a need for me to be happy.
But Mom, you must know why I feel that way. All my life, I have watched you work so hard for Howard and I. So we could have a better life. In result to you, I had always wanted to give back to you by being my best self. At the moment, I am in South Africa. I had a need to prove to myself of making my dreams possible. I did. I am a professional dancer and better yet an international one. I am working in advertising. On top of that, I have pushed myself to be my ultimate being of living in my culture and making it on my own.
However after 23 years, I still you more than ever. I have a love/hate relationship with South Africa. After I had gotten out of my depression of financial issues, I had really opened my eyes to the purpose of me coming here. While in deep thought, I believe my whole life prepared me for South Africa. Remember all those dance classes to filling different than everyone else in high school. To College, I met Natty and Dr. Carter both residents in South Africa. To the family, that had all made me have an urge to learn about culture. With all of those experiences, I realized early on that I had to find my destiny because the power has always been within me.
Now, I thank you for being my mother. For all your hard work, strong being your ability to make me love myself, your education, beauty, your example of hope for true love, your heart, your understanding, your cooking, your laugh, and of course your eyes.
With your eyes of seeing no limits, I ask you to be mother even more in my old age and help me choose my next step in life. In my adulthood, I feel that I need your more than ever.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO THE GREATEST MOTHER ON EARTH
“DREAMS COME TRUE”
“EVERYTHING ALWAYS WORKS OUT FOR ELSIE”
But Mom, you must know why I feel that way. All my life, I have watched you work so hard for Howard and I. So we could have a better life. In result to you, I had always wanted to give back to you by being my best self. At the moment, I am in South Africa. I had a need to prove to myself of making my dreams possible. I did. I am a professional dancer and better yet an international one. I am working in advertising. On top of that, I have pushed myself to be my ultimate being of living in my culture and making it on my own.
However after 23 years, I still you more than ever. I have a love/hate relationship with South Africa. After I had gotten out of my depression of financial issues, I had really opened my eyes to the purpose of me coming here. While in deep thought, I believe my whole life prepared me for South Africa. Remember all those dance classes to filling different than everyone else in high school. To College, I met Natty and Dr. Carter both residents in South Africa. To the family, that had all made me have an urge to learn about culture. With all of those experiences, I realized early on that I had to find my destiny because the power has always been within me.
Now, I thank you for being my mother. For all your hard work, strong being your ability to make me love myself, your education, beauty, your example of hope for true love, your heart, your understanding, your cooking, your laugh, and of course your eyes.
With your eyes of seeing no limits, I ask you to be mother even more in my old age and help me choose my next step in life. In my adulthood, I feel that I need your more than ever.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO THE GREATEST MOTHER ON EARTH
“DREAMS COME TRUE”
“EVERYTHING ALWAYS WORKS OUT FOR ELSIE”
Monday, March 16, 2009
SHE HAD TOLD ME
MY VIEW OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT
MARCH 17, 2009
As she looked through my soul, she had told me that I was going to be great one day. Besides my parents, she was the only person that believed in me. She was a confident, vibrant, and beautiful person. I had called her my second mother being that she was my mother’s best friend.
In an environment that I never felt a sense of belonging because I was visually different than 95% of my surroundings. As my second mother, she had told me that I was going to be great one day.
Frequently I have many thoughts about her because I seen her in me. As I look over the balcony of my apartment this night, I have deep thoughts about her.
In everyone’s eyes, she had seemed to be the happiest person in the world. She had everything a woman could image. But deep into her soul, she was hurting and she had become weak into fighting the demons within her. I have seen her in me. She had told me that I was going to be great one day.
In my last day of seeing her, she looked deep into my soul with her red eyes. She told me: “hang on and never let anyone put me down.”
She knew” she saw within my soul that I was not that perfect image of a person. I had demons within me and I try to fight them off every day. My demons are based on addiction but I have refused to let it ruin my destiny.
“the devil is a liar”
She had told me I will be great one day and I will do it just for her. Even when I do not think of me deserving the greatness, I will remember her. Before her demons took over, I remember her being a great second mother to me; I remember her giving me a hug in front of people will never accept my visual exterior as their equal; I remember her great cooking; I remember her great talent of taking care of everyone, and I remember always looking fabulous.
She had told me that I will be great one day and I will.
Despite what people think of my journey to South Africa, those people will know this journey has given the opportunity to just think about everything.
R.I.P my second mother, my greatest memory of you was during the home coming game. You were so proud of me and I was so proud to you support me. My last day of seeing you, I had seen in your eyes of making peace with him. I know you are watching me carefully up there with him. Thank You
MARCH 17, 2009
As she looked through my soul, she had told me that I was going to be great one day. Besides my parents, she was the only person that believed in me. She was a confident, vibrant, and beautiful person. I had called her my second mother being that she was my mother’s best friend.
In an environment that I never felt a sense of belonging because I was visually different than 95% of my surroundings. As my second mother, she had told me that I was going to be great one day.
Frequently I have many thoughts about her because I seen her in me. As I look over the balcony of my apartment this night, I have deep thoughts about her.
In everyone’s eyes, she had seemed to be the happiest person in the world. She had everything a woman could image. But deep into her soul, she was hurting and she had become weak into fighting the demons within her. I have seen her in me. She had told me that I was going to be great one day.
In my last day of seeing her, she looked deep into my soul with her red eyes. She told me: “hang on and never let anyone put me down.”
She knew” she saw within my soul that I was not that perfect image of a person. I had demons within me and I try to fight them off every day. My demons are based on addiction but I have refused to let it ruin my destiny.
“the devil is a liar”
She had told me I will be great one day and I will do it just for her. Even when I do not think of me deserving the greatness, I will remember her. Before her demons took over, I remember her being a great second mother to me; I remember her giving me a hug in front of people will never accept my visual exterior as their equal; I remember her great cooking; I remember her great talent of taking care of everyone, and I remember always looking fabulous.
She had told me that I will be great one day and I will.
Despite what people think of my journey to South Africa, those people will know this journey has given the opportunity to just think about everything.
R.I.P my second mother, my greatest memory of you was during the home coming game. You were so proud of me and I was so proud to you support me. My last day of seeing you, I had seen in your eyes of making peace with him. I know you are watching me carefully up there with him. Thank You
I HAD A DREAM ABOUT SOUTH AFRICA....YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE LIFE WILL TAKE YOU
my homegal in SA
my view outside of my apartment
me looking fabulous in my apartment. see family! i have the pics of you guys right behind me.now! for my blog writing......
MARCH 11, 2009
At the moment, I am riding on the taxis to go to Sunninghill. After a get together at my flat, I woke up at 6:00am to meet up with my friends. My friends are two girls from Zimbabwe. Actually one of them will be my roommate soon, I will call her M. The other one asked me the number one question: “What are you doing in South Africa? I replied, living to the fullest.
Oh Boy! I have lived to the fullest. I found my inner self here. Through the journey of living in some else’s shoes, I have been through many up and downs. Right Now! I am in a place of seeing my future. I started my company called The Mufuka Works. What do I do? I promote events and I am an advisor. Under my company, my main clients are FUSION ENTAINMENT SOLUTIONS AND KEYES LOUNGE.
For the past few months, I have been promoting Keyes Lounge. Then I hooked up with Fusion which they inspired me for my company. My boss from Fusion has been like my older brother. I am watching him closely so I could be like him. He said: “I could get my own branch off of Fusion and run it.
Then my impromptu company could be official. Well…I will wait till the stars line up for that until then I am moving myself up slowly.
Speaking of Fusion, it has been exactly what I was looking for. Their main focus has set to be on representing artists but they are in the mix of event planning with top name venues.
My personal experience with them has been in the mix of advertising for Steve H, Hip Hop Pentsula (HHP), and Obita. Steve H. just happened to be one the top Africaans artists.
Then my excitement of being with Fusion had come when I was advertising for HHP and Obita. They are the hottest hip hop artists in South Africa. HHP has already established his title. As for Obita, his hot new buzz in South Africa. Speaking of timing, I am going to be a part of him rising up in South Africa.
So stay tune as my journey in South Africa continues……………………………………..
At the moment, I am riding on the taxis to go to Sunninghill. After a get together at my flat, I woke up at 6:00am to meet up with my friends. My friends are two girls from Zimbabwe. Actually one of them will be my roommate soon, I will call her M. The other one asked me the number one question: “What are you doing in South Africa? I replied, living to the fullest.
Oh Boy! I have lived to the fullest. I found my inner self here. Through the journey of living in some else’s shoes, I have been through many up and downs. Right Now! I am in a place of seeing my future. I started my company called The Mufuka Works. What do I do? I promote events and I am an advisor. Under my company, my main clients are FUSION ENTAINMENT SOLUTIONS AND KEYES LOUNGE.
For the past few months, I have been promoting Keyes Lounge. Then I hooked up with Fusion which they inspired me for my company. My boss from Fusion has been like my older brother. I am watching him closely so I could be like him. He said: “I could get my own branch off of Fusion and run it.
Then my impromptu company could be official. Well…I will wait till the stars line up for that until then I am moving myself up slowly.
Speaking of Fusion, it has been exactly what I was looking for. Their main focus has set to be on representing artists but they are in the mix of event planning with top name venues.
My personal experience with them has been in the mix of advertising for Steve H, Hip Hop Pentsula (HHP), and Obita. Steve H. just happened to be one the top Africaans artists.
Then my excitement of being with Fusion had come when I was advertising for HHP and Obita. They are the hottest hip hop artists in South Africa. HHP has already established his title. As for Obita, his hot new buzz in South Africa. Speaking of timing, I am going to be a part of him rising up in South Africa.
So stay tune as my journey in South Africa continues……………………………………..
"i am an artist"
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I HAVE STORIES TO TELL MY GRANDCHILDREN
MARCH 1, 2009
On May 2007, I did research for my dance seminar thesis on Zimbabwe. My research was in New Mexico at an African Dance Camp. This African Dance Camp was in the middle of Albuquerque which was going through an overcast and it was very cold in the middle of their dessert environment. In this environment, I was living in a tent and taking intense dance, lecture, and music classes. The classes were all based on African culture and especially Zimbabwe. As I left, I was invited to the second session camp just concentrating on Zimbabwe but I could not attend because of summer school at Coker College. As I left the camp, I remembered the hurt feeling in my heart. It was not the fact of leaving the camp. It was the fact of leaving my culture.
I never forgot the hurt feeling and it made me in need of knowing more. What did I do? I left everything of my comfort zone and I went exploring my culture in the next best thing…..SOUTH AFRICA.
I have been here for seven months now. Through the struggles here, I found myself. I said: “I found myself”
As I looked outside of the view of Randburg, South Africa, I had come to the realization of always being on self discovery even when I am 50 years old. EVERYDAY WILL BE DIFFERENT! In result; I will be different so I owe myself to challenge my mind. I owe it to myself to see the world, read good books, spend time with family, take risks, make mistakes, cry, live on passion, love , heart break, make friends, break friendships, sin, research, and live in some one else’s shoes. All in all I owe it to myself to live life. So I could tell my grandchildren stories.
Well….I AM ALIVE. I am accomplishing my dreams.
Speaking of dreams, I had one dream all my life and it was to be a professional dancer. My professional dancing career has become like drinking alcohol before the required age. Because….once a person had become of age the trill has gone.
At sixteen, I was in the mix of the professional dancer scene. At eighteen, I went to college for dance and in the same year I received the title of top 10 dancer for the Millie Lewis Competition. At 22 years old, I had made my ultimate dream of dancing for an international company. My location had happened to be in South Africa.
I DID IT! I achieved my ultimate dream. NOW WHAT? Yes! I wanted more. Dance has become my passion but deep down inside I knew of not being a professional dancer forever.
This statement has become hard for me to say but it has become brutal honesty. When I watched Hedi Klum on television, she said:” Dance is my passion but deep down inside I knew I was not going to be a professional dancer.”
Now! I am an artist and I always will be. But…I am going into a different direction with my art. I have a need to bring dance on a higher level. Finally! I have a need to take out the question, what can you do with dance? Because….. the world will know about the intensity of dance. My new level in life…..promote dance to the mainstream.
I choose for my home base to be South Africa.
I believe people will always ask themselves, why they are here on Earth. For me, I have always asked myself that question. So I just followed my instincts. I was brought to South Africa by a dream and I will tell my grandchildren my experiences. So they could ask themselves that same question of why are their here on Earth. Hopefully, they will listen to their grandmother’s stories and find out by living life to the fullest.
In this day and age, my generation has limited stories to tell their grandchildren. I believe because my generation has become lazy because we have limited things to fight for. I often here from my elders about the civil rights movement, World War II, and my grandmother the independence in Zimbabwe. The elders have told me what they fought for. For me, I also have a need of telling my grandchildren what I fought for……SELF CHALLENGE.
Thank you Grandparents for telling me your stories! Being name after my grandmother, I hope to live up to her expectations.
THIS BLOG ENTRY IS DEDICATED TO MY LATE GRANDPA KAPFADZE AND GRANDPA MUFUKA ……………………………………………………….
On May 2007, I did research for my dance seminar thesis on Zimbabwe. My research was in New Mexico at an African Dance Camp. This African Dance Camp was in the middle of Albuquerque which was going through an overcast and it was very cold in the middle of their dessert environment. In this environment, I was living in a tent and taking intense dance, lecture, and music classes. The classes were all based on African culture and especially Zimbabwe. As I left, I was invited to the second session camp just concentrating on Zimbabwe but I could not attend because of summer school at Coker College. As I left the camp, I remembered the hurt feeling in my heart. It was not the fact of leaving the camp. It was the fact of leaving my culture.
I never forgot the hurt feeling and it made me in need of knowing more. What did I do? I left everything of my comfort zone and I went exploring my culture in the next best thing…..SOUTH AFRICA.
I have been here for seven months now. Through the struggles here, I found myself. I said: “I found myself”
As I looked outside of the view of Randburg, South Africa, I had come to the realization of always being on self discovery even when I am 50 years old. EVERYDAY WILL BE DIFFERENT! In result; I will be different so I owe myself to challenge my mind. I owe it to myself to see the world, read good books, spend time with family, take risks, make mistakes, cry, live on passion, love , heart break, make friends, break friendships, sin, research, and live in some one else’s shoes. All in all I owe it to myself to live life. So I could tell my grandchildren stories.
Well….I AM ALIVE. I am accomplishing my dreams.
Speaking of dreams, I had one dream all my life and it was to be a professional dancer. My professional dancing career has become like drinking alcohol before the required age. Because….once a person had become of age the trill has gone.
At sixteen, I was in the mix of the professional dancer scene. At eighteen, I went to college for dance and in the same year I received the title of top 10 dancer for the Millie Lewis Competition. At 22 years old, I had made my ultimate dream of dancing for an international company. My location had happened to be in South Africa.
I DID IT! I achieved my ultimate dream. NOW WHAT? Yes! I wanted more. Dance has become my passion but deep down inside I knew of not being a professional dancer forever.
This statement has become hard for me to say but it has become brutal honesty. When I watched Hedi Klum on television, she said:” Dance is my passion but deep down inside I knew I was not going to be a professional dancer.”
Now! I am an artist and I always will be. But…I am going into a different direction with my art. I have a need to bring dance on a higher level. Finally! I have a need to take out the question, what can you do with dance? Because….. the world will know about the intensity of dance. My new level in life…..promote dance to the mainstream.
I choose for my home base to be South Africa.
I believe people will always ask themselves, why they are here on Earth. For me, I have always asked myself that question. So I just followed my instincts. I was brought to South Africa by a dream and I will tell my grandchildren my experiences. So they could ask themselves that same question of why are their here on Earth. Hopefully, they will listen to their grandmother’s stories and find out by living life to the fullest.
In this day and age, my generation has limited stories to tell their grandchildren. I believe because my generation has become lazy because we have limited things to fight for. I often here from my elders about the civil rights movement, World War II, and my grandmother the independence in Zimbabwe. The elders have told me what they fought for. For me, I also have a need of telling my grandchildren what I fought for……SELF CHALLENGE.
Thank you Grandparents for telling me your stories! Being name after my grandmother, I hope to live up to her expectations.
THIS BLOG ENTRY IS DEDICATED TO MY LATE GRANDPA KAPFADZE AND GRANDPA MUFUKA ……………………………………………………….
Saturday, February 21, 2009
VALENTINE'S DAY
IM A FREE SPIRIT-FEBRUARY 14, 2009
For the past few months, I have been just flowing with the universe. In other words, I have been waiting for things to happen to me. If I carried positive energy things will happen, I have always believed in that. Well…I have carried positive energy and things have happened. Today I have stopped to think about things that have occurred in my life.
At the moment, I have two things going well in my life. Those two things are signs in my life. These signs have strongly shown to me; his still watching me. He has a stronger faith in me that I do not have in myself. Today has happened to be Valentine’s Day and I did not do anything for the holiday. But I never do anything. I just acknowledge the holiday and I think about my loves and the others who love me.
Luckily I have great loves in my life. My creator and his son hold love for me. My father and mother hold love for me. My dear brother loves me. Even if some do not know me completely, all my family loves me. My lovely friends hold love for me. The strangers that I encounter love me. My teachers love me.
In the midst of all this love, I lost a little love for myself. At least, I acknowledge the inconsistence of my self love. With this inconsistence of self love, my current life has spun a little out of control. But that’s life! You live and learn. At the moment, I have learned a lot. I deserve more.
Even if my life has spun out of control, I am going to have fun taking it back. Yes! I believe in positive energy but you are still responsible for your actions.
“Even when you’re 30, 40, or even 50 years old, you will always be on self discovery.”-Lorica
So I have always been searching for something. But I am done with my search. I am just gaining my self love. So when life has something to throw at me, I am ready with full armor because I know the essence of me.
On this Valentine’s Day, I reflected on the past few months. I just laughed at all little mishaps of breaking my phone, running out of internet, and other little mishaps. Also I looked backed on the friends made by me, my new job as a event planner, my new hair style, the connection made with this one particular person, and how close I feel with my family.
As the last hour of Valentine’s Day comes to passing, I say: “I LOVE ME.” WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY!
Lord! Please hold on to me and forgive me for my sins. My flesh was weak but I am taking back my dignity. For some reason, you keep on saving me from my sins so I know you have a bigger plan for me. I will be going to church tomorrow and let my spirit run free. I AM A FREE SPIRIT!
For the past few months, I have been just flowing with the universe. In other words, I have been waiting for things to happen to me. If I carried positive energy things will happen, I have always believed in that. Well…I have carried positive energy and things have happened. Today I have stopped to think about things that have occurred in my life.
At the moment, I have two things going well in my life. Those two things are signs in my life. These signs have strongly shown to me; his still watching me. He has a stronger faith in me that I do not have in myself. Today has happened to be Valentine’s Day and I did not do anything for the holiday. But I never do anything. I just acknowledge the holiday and I think about my loves and the others who love me.
Luckily I have great loves in my life. My creator and his son hold love for me. My father and mother hold love for me. My dear brother loves me. Even if some do not know me completely, all my family loves me. My lovely friends hold love for me. The strangers that I encounter love me. My teachers love me.
In the midst of all this love, I lost a little love for myself. At least, I acknowledge the inconsistence of my self love. With this inconsistence of self love, my current life has spun a little out of control. But that’s life! You live and learn. At the moment, I have learned a lot. I deserve more.
Even if my life has spun out of control, I am going to have fun taking it back. Yes! I believe in positive energy but you are still responsible for your actions.
“Even when you’re 30, 40, or even 50 years old, you will always be on self discovery.”-Lorica
So I have always been searching for something. But I am done with my search. I am just gaining my self love. So when life has something to throw at me, I am ready with full armor because I know the essence of me.
On this Valentine’s Day, I reflected on the past few months. I just laughed at all little mishaps of breaking my phone, running out of internet, and other little mishaps. Also I looked backed on the friends made by me, my new job as a event planner, my new hair style, the connection made with this one particular person, and how close I feel with my family.
As the last hour of Valentine’s Day comes to passing, I say: “I LOVE ME.” WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY!
Lord! Please hold on to me and forgive me for my sins. My flesh was weak but I am taking back my dignity. For some reason, you keep on saving me from my sins so I know you have a bigger plan for me. I will be going to church tomorrow and let my spirit run free. I AM A FREE SPIRIT!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
THIS SELF DISCOVERY IS HARD
JANUARY 10, 2009
This week at the BUSH….I was full of emotions because I was thinking about home a lot. I miss home but I do not have a need of going back. I am at peace in SOUTH AFRICA. It has given me time to clear my head. South African people are relaxed human beings. They have the most holidays, the whole world stops for them on holidays. Nobody does work or anything. Every day of the holiday has a vibe of Sunday. Even not on holidays, they also have a braai ever weekend. At the same time, they have this South African sense of humor. They are really sarcastic. I had come to South Africa for a mere sense of experience so I could have a sense of self. At the same time, I wanted to challenge myself and I wanted to see my ability of making it into an international dance company. To prove to myself, I am good enough to be a dancer. So I did. I made the dance company and I did my other love of marketing/advertising for the company to. I did travel around the world. I accomplished everything my solitarian said I would. Yea! In high school, the solitarian said the dreams of my 2004 class’s aspirations. For me, she said I will become a dancer like I always talked about. Well my solitarian and old friend, I did become a dancer. My dancing has taking to places in life that I only dreamt about. Now, I have aspirations for something more. You see I had to make a dance company because I had to prove to myself of doing it. I had to prove to people who told me “NO.” Now I am here and I still do not believe in me as being a good dancer. I believe me in being a good performer because I have put ever bit of energy into my dancing. Even if I have put all my energy, I will probably not ever be the image dancer that I see for me to be in body sense. So I have found in South Africa the inner worth of my capabilities. I am a dreamer. I have the ability of making dreams happen and not just myself but others. I inspire. Inspiration has happened to be my purpose in life. How will I take this gift into something bigger? I will inspire other people by putting dance work on them and I will inspire the audience by them watching my work. At the same time, I will use my marketing/advertising skills for the whole world to see. “SOME PEOPLE ARE BRILLANT DANCERS BUT THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT TWO STEPS TOGETHER,”-LOCIA I accept the fact of me being a better choreographer. I use to be told of me being too much of an emotional dancer. However, my emotions that I put in my dancing are what has got me this far. If they could feel the soul of dancers, I believe more people will connect to dance. So I thank South Africa for giving me the space to think about all of this. Right Now! I am working at the Bush (the pub I work for) and taking dance classes which I started today. We had a holiday for a month and two weeks from Ntsoana. The dance classes I am taking are at Corenergy (the dance church). I start Ntsoana on January 20, 2009. However the Bush and Corenergy had really forced me to connect to my inner self. Corenergy has helped me spiritual connect myself with my body. The Bush has connected me to so many different people. Just listening to people’s stories, they inspired me to so much choreography. It has become like using my presence to tell their story one day. At the Bush, I have meant Africans (mostly dutch language white people), English white South Africans, Zulu, and Suto. I listened to all of them and I watched their body language. In the Bush, these people are one people. You will never know about Apartheid in South Africa many years ago when the blacks did not communicate with the whites well. Ok! I put that in the nicest way possible. They have come a long way from 15 years ago. I often get asked: “IS THERE RACISM IN AMERICA.” I always replied, “HELL YES” Then I always replied there has happened to be racism every where. Now it just happened to be hidden. I have called it silent racism. When your racist and you may not ever know it, I have seen it in people’s eyes. Especially when some first have meant me, I remembered it when interviewing for an internship and I had seen it. What did I see? I had seen their judgment about me that I was not what their looking for. I just knew it was the perception of the color of my skin. I AM BLACK. I JUST KNEW IT OK! It was not until they saw my education and experience qualifications that they begun opening their eyes and ears. They had seen me as a presentable young lady and they asked about my accent. I had told them my parents are Zimbabwean but I was born and raised in America. Suddenly I had become different than other black people. I AM BLACK. I use to say this same thing to my friends at my mostly white private school. I usually will say “I AM BLACK” to my white friends when they slipped the N bomb. They told me that I am different than the other black people. Whatever that was suppose to mean to them. I just knew it meant that I was probably the only black person that they had a chance to connect with. Now I had meant a South African guy who said: “South Africa just put their racism in the books but racism is everywhere.”I have white friends who have told me I am different than Black people. I AM BLACK. Also I have black friends who say I am different than Black people. I have meant people who have many black friends but they still make racist comments now and then. I have seen people’s faces of fear as I approach them, may be from some bad experience they had so they blame the whole race. I have seen white women with black husbands but still get scared of a black man. It could be because they are not their black man. Now I have seen all these things in America and I have seen them in South Africa. I know the same thing goes for all differing races even the other way around with blacks being racist against whites. As for me, I have all different friends and I would not notice their color if the world had not force it on me. I am forced in South Africa and even other places like America or Europe. I choose now not to let it bother my connection to all my people (black, white, Spanish, Chinese, and etc…...) I have a lot of mixed friends. Just those friends in my life, is my hope for unity...well...i know unity is here but some people just need to catch up. Now, it is February 11, 2009. My plan is altered. I am no longer working with Ntsoana Contemporary Dance Theatre. I only dance with Corenery. I do not work at the Bush anymore but I might be soon again because my customers are asking about me. I have a new job as an event planner with Keyes Lounge. I plan parities. I realize that this is my only chance to be a gipsy so I am taking it. I finally asked myself this question: “AM I BEING LOVED THE WAY I GIVE LOVE?” My answer was “NO” For the first time in my life, I believe I moved on and I allowed my heart to open again. In a second, the universe brought something in my life that I never that I could find in someone else. I AM AT PEACE. article featured on www.lettersfromsouthafrica.blogspot.com
This week at the BUSH….I was full of emotions because I was thinking about home a lot. I miss home but I do not have a need of going back. I am at peace in SOUTH AFRICA. It has given me time to clear my head. South African people are relaxed human beings. They have the most holidays, the whole world stops for them on holidays. Nobody does work or anything. Every day of the holiday has a vibe of Sunday. Even not on holidays, they also have a braai ever weekend. At the same time, they have this South African sense of humor. They are really sarcastic. I had come to South Africa for a mere sense of experience so I could have a sense of self. At the same time, I wanted to challenge myself and I wanted to see my ability of making it into an international dance company. To prove to myself, I am good enough to be a dancer. So I did. I made the dance company and I did my other love of marketing/advertising for the company to. I did travel around the world. I accomplished everything my solitarian said I would. Yea! In high school, the solitarian said the dreams of my 2004 class’s aspirations. For me, she said I will become a dancer like I always talked about. Well my solitarian and old friend, I did become a dancer. My dancing has taking to places in life that I only dreamt about. Now, I have aspirations for something more. You see I had to make a dance company because I had to prove to myself of doing it. I had to prove to people who told me “NO.” Now I am here and I still do not believe in me as being a good dancer. I believe me in being a good performer because I have put ever bit of energy into my dancing. Even if I have put all my energy, I will probably not ever be the image dancer that I see for me to be in body sense. So I have found in South Africa the inner worth of my capabilities. I am a dreamer. I have the ability of making dreams happen and not just myself but others. I inspire. Inspiration has happened to be my purpose in life. How will I take this gift into something bigger? I will inspire other people by putting dance work on them and I will inspire the audience by them watching my work. At the same time, I will use my marketing/advertising skills for the whole world to see. “SOME PEOPLE ARE BRILLANT DANCERS BUT THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PUT TWO STEPS TOGETHER,”-LOCIA I accept the fact of me being a better choreographer. I use to be told of me being too much of an emotional dancer. However, my emotions that I put in my dancing are what has got me this far. If they could feel the soul of dancers, I believe more people will connect to dance. So I thank South Africa for giving me the space to think about all of this. Right Now! I am working at the Bush (the pub I work for) and taking dance classes which I started today. We had a holiday for a month and two weeks from Ntsoana. The dance classes I am taking are at Corenergy (the dance church). I start Ntsoana on January 20, 2009. However the Bush and Corenergy had really forced me to connect to my inner self. Corenergy has helped me spiritual connect myself with my body. The Bush has connected me to so many different people. Just listening to people’s stories, they inspired me to so much choreography. It has become like using my presence to tell their story one day. At the Bush, I have meant Africans (mostly dutch language white people), English white South Africans, Zulu, and Suto. I listened to all of them and I watched their body language. In the Bush, these people are one people. You will never know about Apartheid in South Africa many years ago when the blacks did not communicate with the whites well. Ok! I put that in the nicest way possible. They have come a long way from 15 years ago. I often get asked: “IS THERE RACISM IN AMERICA.” I always replied, “HELL YES” Then I always replied there has happened to be racism every where. Now it just happened to be hidden. I have called it silent racism. When your racist and you may not ever know it, I have seen it in people’s eyes. Especially when some first have meant me, I remembered it when interviewing for an internship and I had seen it. What did I see? I had seen their judgment about me that I was not what their looking for. I just knew it was the perception of the color of my skin. I AM BLACK. I JUST KNEW IT OK! It was not until they saw my education and experience qualifications that they begun opening their eyes and ears. They had seen me as a presentable young lady and they asked about my accent. I had told them my parents are Zimbabwean but I was born and raised in America. Suddenly I had become different than other black people. I AM BLACK. I use to say this same thing to my friends at my mostly white private school. I usually will say “I AM BLACK” to my white friends when they slipped the N bomb. They told me that I am different than the other black people. Whatever that was suppose to mean to them. I just knew it meant that I was probably the only black person that they had a chance to connect with. Now I had meant a South African guy who said: “South Africa just put their racism in the books but racism is everywhere.”I have white friends who have told me I am different than Black people. I AM BLACK. Also I have black friends who say I am different than Black people. I have meant people who have many black friends but they still make racist comments now and then. I have seen people’s faces of fear as I approach them, may be from some bad experience they had so they blame the whole race. I have seen white women with black husbands but still get scared of a black man. It could be because they are not their black man. Now I have seen all these things in America and I have seen them in South Africa. I know the same thing goes for all differing races even the other way around with blacks being racist against whites. As for me, I have all different friends and I would not notice their color if the world had not force it on me. I am forced in South Africa and even other places like America or Europe. I choose now not to let it bother my connection to all my people (black, white, Spanish, Chinese, and etc…...) I have a lot of mixed friends. Just those friends in my life, is my hope for unity...well...i know unity is here but some people just need to catch up. Now, it is February 11, 2009. My plan is altered. I am no longer working with Ntsoana Contemporary Dance Theatre. I only dance with Corenery. I do not work at the Bush anymore but I might be soon again because my customers are asking about me. I have a new job as an event planner with Keyes Lounge. I plan parities. I realize that this is my only chance to be a gipsy so I am taking it. I finally asked myself this question: “AM I BEING LOVED THE WAY I GIVE LOVE?” My answer was “NO” For the first time in my life, I believe I moved on and I allowed my heart to open again. In a second, the universe brought something in my life that I never that I could find in someone else. I AM AT PEACE. article featured on www.lettersfromsouthafrica.blogspot.com
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
JANUARY 5, 2004 – THE BUSH (THE PUB/RESTAURANT I WORK FOR.)
Today, I woke up early to go running and I cleansed the body and mind with cardio. Along with Morning Prayer, I was prepared for the day. BOY! Did I need my mental and physical cleanse.
At the BUSH I meant a lot of different people. I meant this boy with red hair and he had black coffee with a rare T-Bone. It was his birthday and he was there with the whole family including his drunken father.
On the flip side, I meant two business men. They had given good advice on opening franchises. Through out the day, I had interesting people come in. It was toward the end of the day and I had just finished the book, THE SECRET. The secret has happened to be such a wonderful enlighten book. I recommend it to all people as a self help book.
It was going toward 8:00pm and I usually get of at 5:00pm. As I cashed out my last customer, I had a curious customer that I had asked to speak with me. He was curious about my arrival to South Africa.
In response to his curiosity, I said to him “for the experience.” I had a long day and I just did not have a patience to explain my whole existence in South Africa. But I ended up staying at the BUSH for another hour talking to this man. I just could not leave the conversation.
The man was in between believing in God and Atheist. He believed in 80:20. According to my understanding of his explanation, this belief was based on each person consisting of 80% good and 20% bad. He never said that he did not believed in GOD but he did not say he believed in GOD. He said: “I do not believe he created the Earth, Heaven, Animals, and most importantly human beings. He went on talking about a limbo. According to him, the limbo was the place before heaven where people just float around the area mostly unborn died babies. I was not aware of all the information being voiced out to me. Simply because I do not personal believe in his beliefs so I do not spend extra energy putting that information in my mind. Then he questioned my intelligence and I said only one higher power has the right to judge me…… GOD
How did this conversation come up? Well…..I finally told him about my drive to come to South Africa. I am in South Africa because of my faith. The faith in God having a plan for me and I am going to go with the wave lengths of my destiny. I am attacking the steps to achieve it.
As a Christian, I do not argue. I have discussions so I answered all of his beliefs with scriptures. At the end of the conversation, I did get disturbed with his presence because I felt this evil vibe around him. The conversation did get heated that this other man intervened. He said to me: “I am inspired by your faith because I could see your positive spirit.” After this man said that to me, I looked at the 80:20 man and I could tell of his unhappiness because of his look of uncertainty of existence. As he consumed more beer, I noticed this look on his face.
In the end, he had his beliefs but never explained it accurately. Simply because he just did not know. He expressed about this force creating everything but he could not say where or what the force had come from. So we ended the conversation because it was not going anywhere.
However the conversation did affect me because the man’s eyes had held corruption of the world. I actually had come home crying and I prayed to my creator. I told him “OH LORD YOUR ARE A POWERFUL GOD TO CREATE HUMAN BEINGS WHO ACTUALLY HAVE THE COMPLEX BRAIN TO THINK AGAINST YOU. “
I had come out of my prayer and I had promised myself. I am going to be a better prophet. I am going to fill myself with the word. I am going to be my creator’s image.
As I head to sleep, I thank GOD for giving me the opportunity to have that conversation because it tested my faith. I found out that I know myself. As time goes by I do not fear myself in terms of my abilities, I am allowing myself to be an unlimited being that could accomplish anything.
We often get distracted with this thing called our body and our physical being. That just holds your spirit. And your spirit is so big it fills a room. You are eternal life. You are God manifested in human form, MADE TO PERFECTION. ~Lisa Nichols
IT’S A NEW YEAR
At the BUSH I meant a lot of different people. I meant this boy with red hair and he had black coffee with a rare T-Bone. It was his birthday and he was there with the whole family including his drunken father.
On the flip side, I meant two business men. They had given good advice on opening franchises. Through out the day, I had interesting people come in. It was toward the end of the day and I had just finished the book, THE SECRET. The secret has happened to be such a wonderful enlighten book. I recommend it to all people as a self help book.
It was going toward 8:00pm and I usually get of at 5:00pm. As I cashed out my last customer, I had a curious customer that I had asked to speak with me. He was curious about my arrival to South Africa.
In response to his curiosity, I said to him “for the experience.” I had a long day and I just did not have a patience to explain my whole existence in South Africa. But I ended up staying at the BUSH for another hour talking to this man. I just could not leave the conversation.
The man was in between believing in God and Atheist. He believed in 80:20. According to my understanding of his explanation, this belief was based on each person consisting of 80% good and 20% bad. He never said that he did not believed in GOD but he did not say he believed in GOD. He said: “I do not believe he created the Earth, Heaven, Animals, and most importantly human beings. He went on talking about a limbo. According to him, the limbo was the place before heaven where people just float around the area mostly unborn died babies. I was not aware of all the information being voiced out to me. Simply because I do not personal believe in his beliefs so I do not spend extra energy putting that information in my mind. Then he questioned my intelligence and I said only one higher power has the right to judge me…… GOD
How did this conversation come up? Well…..I finally told him about my drive to come to South Africa. I am in South Africa because of my faith. The faith in God having a plan for me and I am going to go with the wave lengths of my destiny. I am attacking the steps to achieve it.
As a Christian, I do not argue. I have discussions so I answered all of his beliefs with scriptures. At the end of the conversation, I did get disturbed with his presence because I felt this evil vibe around him. The conversation did get heated that this other man intervened. He said to me: “I am inspired by your faith because I could see your positive spirit.” After this man said that to me, I looked at the 80:20 man and I could tell of his unhappiness because of his look of uncertainty of existence. As he consumed more beer, I noticed this look on his face.
In the end, he had his beliefs but never explained it accurately. Simply because he just did not know. He expressed about this force creating everything but he could not say where or what the force had come from. So we ended the conversation because it was not going anywhere.
However the conversation did affect me because the man’s eyes had held corruption of the world. I actually had come home crying and I prayed to my creator. I told him “OH LORD YOUR ARE A POWERFUL GOD TO CREATE HUMAN BEINGS WHO ACTUALLY HAVE THE COMPLEX BRAIN TO THINK AGAINST YOU. “
I had come out of my prayer and I had promised myself. I am going to be a better prophet. I am going to fill myself with the word. I am going to be my creator’s image.
As I head to sleep, I thank GOD for giving me the opportunity to have that conversation because it tested my faith. I found out that I know myself. As time goes by I do not fear myself in terms of my abilities, I am allowing myself to be an unlimited being that could accomplish anything.
We often get distracted with this thing called our body and our physical being. That just holds your spirit. And your spirit is so big it fills a room. You are eternal life. You are God manifested in human form, MADE TO PERFECTION. ~Lisa Nichols
IT’S A NEW YEAR
JANUARY 4, 2009- I AM A BIG SISTER
NOTE: The first Sunday of the NEW YEAR. Yes! I went to church
Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. ~Amy Li
I am a big sister of one male sibling. Even if my brother is more muture than I, I am still his big sister. Being his big sister, I am still in need for him to look up to me. My need is easier said than done. My brother is very accomplished and we consist of two different brain waves. I am an artist and his a academic. Even through our differences, we are best friends. Until this moment of being away from him, I realize my biggest fan within him.
Ever since my exile to South Africa, I talk to my brother frequently like always. His always says, “YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ASS BACK.” This strong expression is coming from him missing me. Being his a male, he does not express emotions like I do. I tend to be more detailing with a dramatic approach.
As I grow within myself. I realize to erase needs and to replace them with faith.
I am having faith in myself because my brother always held faith in me. Secretly, my need for his approval is a drive for me to be better. So I am being better. With a combination of his support and my faith, I am better. NO! I AM MORE THAN BETTER. I AM BEST.
I am doing everything to my best ability. Currently, I am surviving the storm and I am seeing the beauty of life. My blessings are even more visible to me.
Some of blessings……
I see my worth. THANK YOU LORD
I see the beautiful country of South Africa that I am in. THANK YOU LORD
I see the great new Christian people entering into my life. THANK YOU LORD
I see my true supportive group of family and friends. THANK YOU LORD
I see my ability to connect to people. THANK YOU LORD
I see my ability to adjust in every situation. THANK YOU LORD
Currently my situation is adjusting to serving at a Rhodesian PUB/RESTAURANT. Do not worry I am still dancing.
Anyways….I am new to South Africa, I thought of this being a great way of meeting new people and getting information for my upcoming company.
OK! My future company consists of dance, food, dance education, and pure entertainment with a Southern African vibe. I am fusing all my loves into one company.
SORRY! I can not reveal details of my company. Being this is the internet, my ideas for my company might influence someone for their own ideas. It is just business my readers.
So the Rhodesian PUB/RESTAURANT is called “BUSH.” At the BUSH, I meet all sorts of people. Most of them are all from either Zimbabwe or South Africa. They all ask me two questions: 1) Where is your accent from? 2) As an American, what are you doing in South Africa? I always answer for the experience. I mean not many can say: as an American, I find myself in an African Contemporary dance company and a Rhodesian PUB/RESTARUANT. Well I can say it. Also I can say, “I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE NOW AND I AM APPECIATING EVERYDAY.”
I thank my bro for always believing in me. Mom and Dad always say, “its just the two of you make it work.”
Even if I came through some difficulty of adjusting, he always will keep me patient. Now! I am seeing my patience lead me to the pathway of my destiny. I am the big sister but I look up to you.
“TRUST YOUR SUPPORT GROUP”
Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. ~Amy Li
I am a big sister of one male sibling. Even if my brother is more muture than I, I am still his big sister. Being his big sister, I am still in need for him to look up to me. My need is easier said than done. My brother is very accomplished and we consist of two different brain waves. I am an artist and his a academic. Even through our differences, we are best friends. Until this moment of being away from him, I realize my biggest fan within him.
Ever since my exile to South Africa, I talk to my brother frequently like always. His always says, “YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ASS BACK.” This strong expression is coming from him missing me. Being his a male, he does not express emotions like I do. I tend to be more detailing with a dramatic approach.
As I grow within myself. I realize to erase needs and to replace them with faith.
I am having faith in myself because my brother always held faith in me. Secretly, my need for his approval is a drive for me to be better. So I am being better. With a combination of his support and my faith, I am better. NO! I AM MORE THAN BETTER. I AM BEST.
I am doing everything to my best ability. Currently, I am surviving the storm and I am seeing the beauty of life. My blessings are even more visible to me.
Some of blessings……
I see my worth. THANK YOU LORD
I see the beautiful country of South Africa that I am in. THANK YOU LORD
I see the great new Christian people entering into my life. THANK YOU LORD
I see my true supportive group of family and friends. THANK YOU LORD
I see my ability to connect to people. THANK YOU LORD
I see my ability to adjust in every situation. THANK YOU LORD
Currently my situation is adjusting to serving at a Rhodesian PUB/RESTAURANT. Do not worry I am still dancing.
Anyways….I am new to South Africa, I thought of this being a great way of meeting new people and getting information for my upcoming company.
OK! My future company consists of dance, food, dance education, and pure entertainment with a Southern African vibe. I am fusing all my loves into one company.
SORRY! I can not reveal details of my company. Being this is the internet, my ideas for my company might influence someone for their own ideas. It is just business my readers.
So the Rhodesian PUB/RESTAURANT is called “BUSH.” At the BUSH, I meet all sorts of people. Most of them are all from either Zimbabwe or South Africa. They all ask me two questions: 1) Where is your accent from? 2) As an American, what are you doing in South Africa? I always answer for the experience. I mean not many can say: as an American, I find myself in an African Contemporary dance company and a Rhodesian PUB/RESTARUANT. Well I can say it. Also I can say, “I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE NOW AND I AM APPECIATING EVERYDAY.”
I thank my bro for always believing in me. Mom and Dad always say, “its just the two of you make it work.”
Even if I came through some difficulty of adjusting, he always will keep me patient. Now! I am seeing my patience lead me to the pathway of my destiny. I am the big sister but I look up to you.
“TRUST YOUR SUPPORT GROUP”
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