DEAR READERS:ELECTION DAY: I AM A LUCKY GIRL BUT I AM NOT LIVING THE GLAMOUR LIFE.

NOVEMBER 4, 2008

In my opinion,this year's presidential election of America is the biggest election in history. It is about change and the American dream coming true. My blog reflects living the dream with conflicts.

***********************************************************************************************
I had come from good parents. I went to good private schools in both high school and college. Big Ups to Coker College! All my life, my parents had given me the world. They did this because they actually followed the role of being a parent and beyond. Most of all, they are giving me support to follow my dreams.

My dream was to be famous with a purpose. I decided long ago to be a part of an international dance company. I went through the audition process with fear in my heart. But I was not going to ask myself one day "What if?"

I did what it took to make my dream come true. I decided to dance in South Africa. I wanted to learn more about African Contemporary dance. I was driven to do this when I was teaching my black students dance in South Carolina. Notice! I said I decided because no one was going to chose my destiny.

When I graduated from college, I took this teaching job in the summer and I was only being paid $500.00 and my rent was $250.00 a month. Also, I was getting paid at the end of the summer. So my parents had supported me financially in food and rent.

At the end of the summer, I had held an African Dance Concert for my black students. My father had come to see it. It was important for him to see it because he was sharing a part of my passion. After the concert, I talked to my Dad and I discussed with him my dream of dancing in South Africa.

Initially I wanted to go to Zimbabwe because I have more family there. However Zimbabwe was going through some things. So I decided my best bet was to head to South Africa. I was driven by my students that I teach because I saw in their eyes how much they strive to know about their ancestor’s culture. It was the same look I had in my eyes at their age. So in order for me to teach them more I had to know more. I had to physically go to live, breath, eat African Contemporary Dance. My dream started as dancing for a international dance company and it had become into dancing international with the purpose of searching for my inner self.

So I had contacted my South African professor and I had asked him to help me. He did everything for me in the dance sense because I only asked him just for that. Also I had worked out my details of where I am going to stay and how I am going to get there. I felt stable going to another country of people who I did not know but I had no idea how hard it was going to be.

I live positively and I try to look for the good in everything. At this moment, I just can not take it some things. I got to South Africa and I had a warm welcome until I moved into my permanent home with X and my reality had come to life. It was impossible to live with X. She degraded everything about me until I could not handle it any more. Here I was away from everything I know because of my purpose of learning more about what I do. X had read my diary and I moved out. Then I lived with Z and I knew this was not permanent but it was a breath of fresh air.

However…the distance to the dance studio was a full hour.

I had to travel by mini taxis to the dance studio. I had to figure out the best route to get me there and I got lost many times. I did get traumatized traveling by taxis but I believe God was watching me. Simply I was a girl traveling to a non familiar place and it was a nightmare. I do not know the language and people do not understand me. I often felt their voice through my body as they kept screaming to me “WHAT?” However, I soon got use to my route and I had better travels.

When I left to Mozambique and I had no idea where I was going to be staying when I get back to Joburg. But I had to just enjoy touring in Mozambique but I still had what is next in my mind. When I got back from Mozambique, I knew I had enough money for food but not for rent.

When I got back Z got an apartment for me but my roommate was going to be a guy. Yea! So I knew that was not happening. So I continued paying 60 rans to travel back and forward to the dance studio. Finally I had found an apartment for 7500 rans and I could not afford it. Obviously it was because I just graduated. So my parents had agreed to pay just for that. I am on my own for the rest.

So why do I have money issues? Just like everything in the world, you have to start from some where. I am in the training development program for the company. The money that I have saved up; it all goes to my extending permit fines.

While I am on my very expensive self discovery, I am on a temporary visiting permit so I will have the opportunity to explore this dancing and find my true roots. Did I mention that my late grandmother’s roots come from South Africa? Well…yea its true. Anyways…the permit is holding for only 3 months and I realized that I need to stay longer. But…I do not know how to do this.

So I just extended it again and it cost a fortunate.

In fact, South Africa is expensive sometimes. Currently, I am a broke 22 years old gal whose parents still support her. I am lucky to be following my dream but I am not living the glamour life.

I do not have money. I do not know the language so I walk around just listening to sounds all day. Then I remember my kids faces and how I want to keep my promise to them. My promise of learning everything about African Contemporary Dance and I will open my own company for them and others to have a positive hobby to do. A hobby that could become a serious career. You see..I always wanted to do something with a purpose and I believe this could be done by starting in the beginning with the kids. Kids should respect their bodies. When they respect their bodies, they will respect themselves and I believe this could be done through dance.

For my parents, I love them so much because they do not have any money. They are just middle class parents with one child in college and the other following a dream. A dream that does not pay much. But…I am gaining so much here. I am gaining my self. The dancing I do has made me connect to my body and I could not describe what a better dancer and person I am.

One day I know I could award my parents for all the hardships they are going through because of me. I love them for continuing to support me because they believe in my dream.


To tell you the truth, I know this situation has to change because I just can’t live like this. I love dance but I can not let it destroy me. Unfortunately, the world is cruel to artist.

Right Now! I am a lucky girl living my dream but this dream has extreme consequences. So I am not living the glamour life. Dear God! I got less than 500 rans in my pocket. Please! God do not think I am going back on my prayer to you about becoming a part of a international dance company. I am just stating that some things must change. I am better than this.

As I talk about dreams coming true, the people I know in South Africa are cheering for Obama. They are just as excited as me. As of right now, the American Society holding a Obama Party in South Africa but I could not attend because I do not travel on taxis this late. One day I will meet the American Society and maybe things will be better for me in terms of my unanswered questions.

In end, Dance is everything to me because it is the only thing that can not be given. I am exposing my outer and inner self to the world. This makes me face my fears and most importantly it makes me see the meaning of life. How? by making me know my self.

“If it is easy, it is not worth it”