09 October 2009
Today, I woke up and I decided to work on the computer today. While I have released myself of my duties for just today of taking dance class and rehearsing the dancers of DTL Entertainment, I am finishing some work on the computer and I found myself reflecting on self.
When it comes down to it, I must have self love to keep going. Some one once told me: "if you do not love self, how do you expect to love God. SO TRUE!
Now I look at myself and I say: "I LOVE YOU"
When I stop depending on other people to love me, I had come into loving myself. I have come into a person of my own right so now I could really LIVE. A new chapter in my life.
MOVING ON.......... In my life, its not all perfect but I am at peace. A sign that I realize of me really growing. I just finished a conversation on the phone with a X-fling and he was with his new girl. The same girl he meant during our fling. Well that is the title that I choose because we never had a fitting title.
Its funny me and him are friends now. REALLY FRIENDS.
We both realize that we have twisted minds so we get along on the level. He really has become a good friend to me. Our friendship is all title mixed up friends, sibling vibe, and worse enemies. But its friends AND HE REALLY CAN NOT HANDLE HOW I AM RIGHT NOW....I AM WALKING THIS WORLD IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT.....I REALIZED: HIS NOT MY HUSBAND, GOD STILL PREPAIRING THAT LUCKY GUY FOR ME.
So, what else?
My dancing, I laugh at God now because I really got out of shape. when I had stop dancing for 4 months, he now has giving me an opportunity to dance for DIKA / MOKAYDF @ 19:45. OCTOBER 30, 2009. TICKET PRICE $50. I KNOW CHEAP PLUG.
I am ready now. guess what? I'm playing in a love triangle and the raped girl. of course, i will get the emotional role. I CANT WAIT...:) So, what else?I am SKINNIER NOW. thats God. I did not even do anything.
So, what else?
I LIVE IN SOWETO.Soweto is so big, I live in Klipspruit. Its a relax place and its in the hood. I just mind my business and the people are like family to me.
So, what else?Just dedicating my day to finding sponsors for DTL Entertainment and also looking for fresh new dancers.
AUDITION WEEK: STARTING OCTOBER 12 @ SABC 1:00-4:30PM. TELEVISION SIDE ENTRANCE 7. I KNOW CHEAP PLUG. got to be on the grind people
A passage from my "Ma" in Soweto:
She said: "Let me tell you about the Wash Tower"
Today as I was reflecting on self, "Ma" was working outside. As she was working, The Wash Tower people had come and she chased them away.
Wash Tower - An English Church
They once came to her house before she invited them in. They said: "We want to teach you about the Bible" So, they talked about the Bible to "Ma." She said: "she knows the Bible but she wants to know more." After some time, they just stopped coming with no reason why they left.
They passed her house with no greeting and they did not come at all. Until now, they had come to her house again.
Now, she has chased them away. She does not hate them but she dislikes their ways. "Ma" did study their perception of the Bible and she did not agree with some of their ways.
She said: "We all pray to one God" This does not give the right for anyone to try to get some one of abandoning their personal traditions. the Wash Tower have adopted english people religion and they deny their traditions. For example, the black people tradition in South Africa is when your father dies: you must go to their grave.
Wash Tower believes you can not community with the dead because they are dead. They add: "your traditions are not right and you must come to the rightful beliefs of our church."
"WE ALL PRAY TO ONE GOD"
GOD BLESS AND READ MORE
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
SHE SAID: YOU MUST BE CAREFUL
3 OCTOBER 2009
At this moment, I am sitting in a taxi. Riding in a taxi, the other South Africans think that your not successful. I do not mind. In fact, I do not mind riding taxis because they take me places in a fast matter. If I had a car, I will not have any clue of how to get anywhere.
ANYWAYS I am meant for something bigger than myself. This next entry will be hard for me to write because I do not know where to start. When in doubt, you must start from the beginning. My father told me once.
So here it is:
As August ended, I moved out of my apartment. For a year, I stayed in that apartment and I grew up into a woman there. Instead of leaving on a good note, I left in a panic. You see, my landowner was charging me R7500 ($1000.00) monthly rent. She over charged me because I did not know any better. Well, I found out about the overcharge but it was nothing to be done. So I stayed and I moved out year end.
"Money is the root of all evil."
As I am moving out, she had given a comment that I kept the place nice. Just like she said when she measured her table during my stay there. All I needed to do was get professional cleaning for the carpet and couches. I never received a writing notice of noise level or anything.
In her brand new car, she had come to my work and picked up the keys for the apartment. I had ended a chapter in my life.
NOT
I just walked into another chapter with that apartment. A week later, she sent an email claiming demage changes of about R10,000. Telling my parents in USA, I also had noise compliments like my parents had enough to deal with. I am glad that my parents know me well enough.
She said:"you must be careful"
So I just transferred taxis to town, Joburg. I was coming from Soweto. In Soweto, I meant this woman that I live with because my friend took me in her home. This woman is her mother. In my mother's absence, this woman has openned her heart to me and has taking me as her own daughter.
She told me her story: from her experiences, she has learned not to trust a man. You must wait until your sure. On the street that she lives, she has witnessed many deaths of young mothers and fathers. The cause has been AIDS.
PAUSE
To my INTERNATINAL friends AIDS is not only in Africa. This is a problem everywhere. So i am not writing another poor Africans AIDS story. I am writing reality. The reality has been people really think that AIDS could not happen to them. It could happen to anybody even girls like me especially girls like me. What is a girl like me? A girl that has seem to have everything her whole life but her purpose is to fight for her identity.
TRUTH: the men who hold AIDS are those ones who wear the nice suits and ride the fancy cars.
They say: I love you and they hold the sickness. I guess they believe of holding the world because of their money. They think of being invisable. Se said: You must be careful. I choose now to wait for marriage. For I am meant for something bigger.
SHE SAID: "GOD HAS GIVEN EVERYONE SENSE."If you do not use God's sense, your education is nothing. God has given you the hands to work. the people on my street, I am so proud of them of using God's sense and their two hands. When some believed, we were going to live in shacks for the rest of our lives. We built houses. In the past, Joburg was called the city of Gold under white people's leadership. The city was worth alot but they did not give the black people anything.
Nevertheless black people, remained clean in their skin becuase they did not loose HOPE. If you went into a black person's shack, you will be surprise of the cleaness. "BLACK PEOPLE ARE PROUD" (just quoting people, no offence)
She said: YOU MUST BE CAREFUL.
At the moment, I have no money to my name but I am rich. I am rich of confidence of believing in myself. I know one day with my educaiton, two hands, and God's sense. I will become what God planned for me.
SHE SAID: "You must be careful"
and I listened......
At this moment, I am sitting in a taxi. Riding in a taxi, the other South Africans think that your not successful. I do not mind. In fact, I do not mind riding taxis because they take me places in a fast matter. If I had a car, I will not have any clue of how to get anywhere.
ANYWAYS I am meant for something bigger than myself. This next entry will be hard for me to write because I do not know where to start. When in doubt, you must start from the beginning. My father told me once.
So here it is:
As August ended, I moved out of my apartment. For a year, I stayed in that apartment and I grew up into a woman there. Instead of leaving on a good note, I left in a panic. You see, my landowner was charging me R7500 ($1000.00) monthly rent. She over charged me because I did not know any better. Well, I found out about the overcharge but it was nothing to be done. So I stayed and I moved out year end.
"Money is the root of all evil."
As I am moving out, she had given a comment that I kept the place nice. Just like she said when she measured her table during my stay there. All I needed to do was get professional cleaning for the carpet and couches. I never received a writing notice of noise level or anything.
In her brand new car, she had come to my work and picked up the keys for the apartment. I had ended a chapter in my life.
NOT
I just walked into another chapter with that apartment. A week later, she sent an email claiming demage changes of about R10,000. Telling my parents in USA, I also had noise compliments like my parents had enough to deal with. I am glad that my parents know me well enough.
She said:"you must be careful"
So I just transferred taxis to town, Joburg. I was coming from Soweto. In Soweto, I meant this woman that I live with because my friend took me in her home. This woman is her mother. In my mother's absence, this woman has openned her heart to me and has taking me as her own daughter.
She told me her story: from her experiences, she has learned not to trust a man. You must wait until your sure. On the street that she lives, she has witnessed many deaths of young mothers and fathers. The cause has been AIDS.
PAUSE
To my INTERNATINAL friends AIDS is not only in Africa. This is a problem everywhere. So i am not writing another poor Africans AIDS story. I am writing reality. The reality has been people really think that AIDS could not happen to them. It could happen to anybody even girls like me especially girls like me. What is a girl like me? A girl that has seem to have everything her whole life but her purpose is to fight for her identity.
TRUTH: the men who hold AIDS are those ones who wear the nice suits and ride the fancy cars.
They say: I love you and they hold the sickness. I guess they believe of holding the world because of their money. They think of being invisable. Se said: You must be careful. I choose now to wait for marriage. For I am meant for something bigger.
SHE SAID: "GOD HAS GIVEN EVERYONE SENSE."If you do not use God's sense, your education is nothing. God has given you the hands to work. the people on my street, I am so proud of them of using God's sense and their two hands. When some believed, we were going to live in shacks for the rest of our lives. We built houses. In the past, Joburg was called the city of Gold under white people's leadership. The city was worth alot but they did not give the black people anything.
Nevertheless black people, remained clean in their skin becuase they did not loose HOPE. If you went into a black person's shack, you will be surprise of the cleaness. "BLACK PEOPLE ARE PROUD" (just quoting people, no offence)
She said: YOU MUST BE CAREFUL.
At the moment, I have no money to my name but I am rich. I am rich of confidence of believing in myself. I know one day with my educaiton, two hands, and God's sense. I will become what God planned for me.
SHE SAID: "You must be careful"
and I listened......
IM BACK WRITING
Tuesday September 29, 2009 I have been in South Africa for a year and a month. I have falling in love, DANCED, depressed, DANCED, dance, DANCED, found God, DANCED, got SAVED, DANCED, taught dance, DANCED, gained weight, DANCED, had sleepless nights, DANCED, got played, DANCED, build a idea for my company, DANCED, workout, DANCED, partied too much, DANCED, felt guilt, DANCED, physical connection, DANCED, lied, DANCED, truth, DANCED,worked at a bar, DANCED, CRIED A LOT, DANCED, felt the LOSS OF FAMILY (being far away from them and wondering if they know I love them ), DANCED, FOUND TRUE LOVE WITH IN MYSELF, DANCED. In the mix of all that, I stop dancing for 4 months in between and it killed me (ya! I gained a lot weight and the biggest I have ever been). I know the only thing that kept me alive. I stopped for a minute but I found out my purpose surrounds DANCE. So there is the TRUTH, my journey in South Africa. Even when I went through the hardships, I had always had dance and the kids in Alexander townships, the professional dancers at DTL Entertainment, and my dance mentor Gustin Makgeledisa of Taelo Dance Theatre, help me find that I will always be a dancer. On September 13, 2009, I got saved and I never looked back. The month before that I read my Bible and I cleansed myself. When that day came I went to the alter and I left my sins behind. Yes! I do not party anymore and everything that went with it. I had become a woman of GOD. So the journey that I started on August 2008. I realized that now. My GOD was preparing me for something bigger than myself. FACT: MY FATHER IS ZIMBABWE SO I AM ZIMBABWEAN. So, What is my destiny? I don’t know destiny is a mystery. What I do know is that I was not placed here for no reason. As I am about to leave SA, I got offered a job position with DTL Entertainment in SA. As a dance instructor, rehearsal director, brand manager, brand manager, and assistant. You see, when you have faith. He deliverers. So now, I have to follow that path. At the moment, I am getting my spirit back. The enemy has tried to break it. So here I am. I hope yall understand: my whole life has prepared me for upcoming. “Dance and be a positive role model” “It disappointed me that me and him ended that way, I REALIZE IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.” “I AM MEANT FOR SOMETHING BIGGER THAN MYSELF”
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