Dear God, CHOICES....

In this life, people have to make choices everyday. The choices that I had come across in life were my decisions: to drink alcohol or not drink alcohol; to smoke or not smoke; to have sex or not have sex; to stay in a bad relationship or not stay in a bad relationship; to eat this or not eat that; to have good friends or not have good friends; to have bad grades or not have bad grades; and to dance or not to dance.

For me, these decisions were not easy to decide. To help me decide my decisions, I wished if there was a guidebook to this life. However, you did provide your creations with a guidebook, The Bible. This book has carried me to great lengths in my life. Most importantly, it opened my eyes to the truth.

What is the definition of truth? To my understanding, the definition of truth is to strive to be the best possible image of you. As I am writing, I realize the responsibility of achieving this truth. Honestly, I have found this a difficult responsibility that I will try my best to achieve.

In my life, I believed to achieve this truth was to really not limit myself by expanding my human mind. I will expand my mind by putting myself out there in the world and really learn everything possible. Nevertheless, college did wake up my mind with inspiring me to learn more but it did not complete me with my connection to my roots. In other words, I will always be searching for ways to expand my mind.

At the moment, I do still wonder if moving to South Africa was the right decision for me. Literally, I slap myself because I realized that I am just letting non-believer's comments get into my head. Some people do believe I am crazy yet some people think I am adventurous. Personally, it does not matter what people think because I know my calling from you.

Last Sunday, my calling had become so clear to me, that I went to the altar to pray about it to you. My calling was to be a positive figure in the dance world. I saw your calling for me in a dream. To achieve my calling, I have to be the best possible student. I have to learn my craft to the fullest. I already had the opportunity of teaching. Surprisingly, the preparation of teaching could not be taught because you either have the gift of teaching or not. Fortunately, I believe I have it. However, I prayed on Sunday and I ended up in tears. I cried because my calling could be so hard.


Currently, I volunteer at the Salvation Army to teach kids my African Dance Concert. In these kid's eyes, I see a need of some one believing in them. This was when my calling had become hard because I had a responsibility to inspire these kids. Then, I have to leave them. Even if I do move them forward to dance for really good dance schools, I just do not want their environment to discourage them from them doing better in life.


For example about environmental influences, I know people who were born in Beaufort, SC and their vacation is Myrtle Beach, SC. Also, I know other natives from Beaufort, SC who expand their minds and go to Tennessee for a vacation. On their belief, they never go anywhere else because its a waste of their time to expand their minds visually. Please believe me that I am not judging, I just know that was not me to just stick around my birth place and accept that this was it for me. I just have to see things visually for myself and one day I will bring it back to my hometown. Also, I know that this belief of people and their other beliefs transfer to their kids. Resulting into kids not believing, "I can do anything in the world." On the other hand, I understood that you could possible not miss something if you have never tried it. However, you will always wonder, "what if?"

All summer, I have been doing a lot of thinking and preparation. I have worked out, I had my own apartment (bills suck), I had a job, and I realized who my real friends are. What is a real friend? The answer has to be family. My family included my dance family. Simply, the dancers and my teachers were the people I was with 95% of the week. Since I was 14 years old, these people have been supporting me.

Today, I said goodbye to my dance teacher Ms. Shannon and everyone at the studio in Richmond Hill, GA. We did not cry or anything because we knew we were going to see each other again. Instead, I did teach a modern dance class. It was my classic goodbye because I wanted to show Ms. Shannon everything I learned over the years. Thankful, it was because of this studio that I was able to do what I am doing now.

Teaching modern dance at this studio, could be complicated because all the dancers prefer ballet. However, I stressed to the dancers that you have to be that hip hop dancer, ballet dancer, jazz dancer, modern dancer, tap dancer, ballroom dancer, and so on. In my eyes, I believe if you fully commit to everything you are doing, the rest will come. Toward the end of class, I did see modern dancers and my greatest pleasure was to know that everyone did work. I know this because they all were sweating from head to toe. As I looked at all the dancers, I knew this studio was producing professional dancers because everyone in that studio had the ability to move on to dance professionally.

However, some of my real friends that I considered family were not very good friends. Well....I am just going to say that you live and you learn. Sometimes...you learn the hard way. For me, I always learned the hard way.What could I say? I am the person that learned the hard way and has instilled many thoughts over the years. Today, I had many thoughts and I just wanted to run it by you. Could I let you know? I am not perfect but I do believe. I promise to live this life to my fullest and not have any regrets because I am going to learn from them while trying my hardest to be closer to you. Being closer, it requires for me to make choices and making choices I shall do. This time I will do it YOUR way because you have proven to me many times that your way is just so much easier.

Amen